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Togetherness needs to be porous. Love means learning to cope with and then find joy in the absence of the other. Give yourself a chance to feel lovelorn.

Editor's note: Someone I know travels a lot. Usually by train. He often leaves late for the railway station. We realize once again that we forgot to account for evening traffic and other urban hurdles when we planned his schedule. As I see him off, I almost always hope that he misses his train. One of these days, he just might. I must remember not to look too gleeful when that happens. I don’t want him to think I’m immature or anything. Or in love with him. No, that must be avoided. When Afzal, my husband, is away on his frequent travels, I often have Wai Wai noodles and Mountain Dew for dinner. Halfway through the meal, I usually regret my choice. If the children offer me ice cream, I accept it. It is hard to tell whether I am celebrating or moping our moment of liberation. In a couple of months, Afzal and I will complete 20 years of marriage. This is absurd because we only met each other recently. There may be some miscalculation here. I check with the child …
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