How to kill a state-owned enterprise in 10 easy steps

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Editor's note: Note: This newsletter is a work of satire. Any resemblance to policy, present or past, is purely coincidental. Dear Privatization Enthusiast, In the last 30-40 years, multiple national governments across the world have attempted to privatize state-owned enterprises (SOEs) with mixed success. Inspired by the Reagan-Thatcher policies towards deregulation and private enterprise in the 1980s, many different strategies have been used to unburden the state from its erstwhile economic responsibilities. The following list of actions has withstood the test of time and will almost certainly guarantee that any pesky vestiges of state ownership will soon be purged from your public balance sheet. We take no responsibility for the improper execution of these strategies: please consult a financial professional before executing these as policy. 1. Avoid the P word: Privatization has become a dirty word and the associated politics are almost necessarily confrontational, resulting in bad optics and protracted conflict and legal battles. Privatization is difficult in democracies. More importantly, the price the state wants for its assets and the price that private players are willing to pay (usually in a …